Passion brings out e' Music in me

What I truly feel...

2010-02-27T00:52:00.002+08:00

Dear Band,

What do you guys really intend to do? Are you gonna continue on like this? Are you contented with your life in band? Do you think we sound really good? Are you even doing anything about it?
Attitude. You guys have no heart. You guys lost it amongst the scores that you guys dumped in your shelves. Where is the motivation? Concert is in 2weeks. How....?
I know you people don't care. yes.
But do you know how much am I putting into this.
I've never thought i could play a 26 paged solo . Ever. But I just did.
I've never thought i could play a euphonium to such a "standard" in just barely a month.
I've never thought i could quit my job and come self pract?! i must be crazy rite?
but yea, let me get this straight.
I've quit my job.
I've not enough money for my poly expenses.
I've done my work.
I've come for self practice.
I've completed MORE than 100min HA! HA! HA!
I've take the buses down to school despite the rates on poly students.
I've put in effort to make sure I look good on the actual day.
I've practiced my solo, even though it's not the best yet but im still trying.
I've single handedly sold more tickets than ALL the sec1s did by far.
I've no idea why ppl can't do likewise.
(you guys really want to perform in an empty hall??! OH CMON!)

Guys, people call me a freak.
They tell me I'm wasting my time.
They tell me I'm stupid.
And you guys still joke all the time.

Thanks for all who cared.

and those people i mentioned in my previous post.
Sorry. I'm just stating facts.

If it really offends you I am truly sorry but that's how i feel.

2 more WEEKS!! ++

2010-02-22T11:02:00.003+08:00

Concert's in 2 weeks plus plus..
and I think the band is rather screwed.

No way I'm letting the concert die out like practice room.
I think I should really stop working and go back to help out..
well, should I?

Working . .

2010-01-15T17:19:00.003+08:00

I'm really bored now.
Currently it's 5.17pm on the 15th of Jan 2010, friday.
Hmm, there's no one in the Fila Ion right now so I'm reallyfree to blog. LOL.
The sales figure by far is $440, not a soul right now though..
AND ITS FRIDAY!!
FINALLY. REST DAY TOMORROW.
JAE AND JPSAE TODAY, ALL THE BEST FOR ME~!

Music FTW!

A New Beginning.

2010-01-14T09:12:00.002+08:00

Yea.
14 and 11 pt
minus cca would be 12 and 9.
Amazing.
I just can't belief my results.
Since now I'm all out for Sp, gotta work already.
And I feel dam shitty after 3-4 days of it.
Btw, Its PAYDAY TODAY!! finally siaz.
-.-

Judgement day . One more day .

2010-01-10T12:53:00.001+08:00

The day has finally arrived.
after so much waiting.
HAHA. i feel so screwed up . . . .
Who knows what I will do tomorrow after 2pm.=.=

BUSY!

2010-01-07T22:26:00.001+08:00

Busy Busy Busy
Now I'm like busy over so many things-.-
Results coming . work to bother . rhap to practice . then im joining some song writing competition
*hope can earn some cash
haha
ahhhh, so busy..

What a Start!

2010-01-02T00:50:00.002+08:00

Yea. New Years Day.
I'm cooped up at home.
Awesome.
Ah well. At least I'm done with 9 songs and there's only 1 left(: haha.
Busy talking to this new friend of mine.
So lame yet so fun. Right? LOL
Eyelids dam heavy. Slept at 4+ 5am last nite.. hehe.
but then i somehow managed to stay awake till .. right now?
went out to eat with parents and they brought me to eat macs.
Wow . . . awesome-ness((:
Had not eaten that in a long time
What a blissful life.
More coming up, soon.

In this year, am I going to give myself, one more shot?

New Year's Eve 2010

2009-12-31T12:40:00.005+08:00

Here,
I am stuck at the computer. wondering what else is there to do..
Just saw on MSN news, that A7X's drummer Jimmy "the rev" Sullivan.
He's one of the best drummers i ever seen, and what a pity, like Michael.
He's just 28..
ah well. Life is cruel.
09 is over and lets welcome the new 2010.
a better year? hopefully.

2009-12-31T00:09:00.005+08:00

It has been awhile.
Os are over.
Prom is over.
Practice room is screwed and over.
Started working.
And I'm back here again.
Well, looking back i think I look really silly HAHA.
see now I'm typing everything in full.
Time has take its course huh?
New year's around the corner..

All the best to myself and all my friends and family.

I'm back once again. (:

* this has been started by a friend(:

2009-07-10T20:59:00.001+08:00

All right everyone.
I'm going to leave this alone for the time being..
I'm not going to tag or post anything after this.
Ya I'm getting bored of this.
So if you tagged, Thanks! >.<

Bye~
back after the Os.
=.=

2009-07-06T00:30:00.003+08:00

Ok.
My blog is dead again.
Thanks for all those who tagged hahah!.
It keeps the blog alive! HAHA..
Just caught a few more movies..
Transformers 2
Duplicity
Ice Age 3.

yeaa
funny action and sometimes boring until i wna slp LOL
ok gtg off for more mugging and will be back aftr prelims most probably. haha
byee

2009-06-20T01:07:00.001+08:00

Yup. Today is a boring day as Usual, and guess what, I revived my Friendster and my blog-.-.
FYI my friendster has been dead for 2 years
Kinda stupid but what to do.. I don't feel like doing any studying.
By the way, Music soft wares are getting on my nerves):
Jeez..

2009-06-17T21:51:00.002+08:00

MY BLOG IS DEAD!!
ahh whatever.. LOL
Today, went out w a small bunch of ppl to catch a movie and went to ecp(:
yupp.
We watched Ghost of Girlfriend's past, rather hilarious HAHA
and everyone is like telling me.. THIS SHOW VERY MEANINGFUL!!
and everyone start to post on their PMs.
Quotes from the dialogue in the movie. -.- BUT its fun.

Yea Laughed for abit
then headed down to ECP
We had funnnnn
Although my intention of bonding games didn't work HAISSSS
but
it turned out quite well.
Took jumpshots..never knew they were so fun..SO SPASTIC HAHAAH
play SAND... p.s junkai me clayton nat and tristan are all victims to it-.-
yaaa.. and everyone got so SANDY. lol
hmmm.. had a hard time clearing the sand.
had a long journey back on bus 31..w nat and pris.
The funny thing was.. Nat was so quiet on the bus.
and once we alighted, he CHIONG for toilet.
NAT wants to BOMB JAPAN WOOO.
ahah

anyways.. here are some quotes(:

"It's just you and me against the whole world" - Connor Mead
" C'mon !! We're Ghosts! We're ageless!" - Uncle Wayne
" When you wake up the next day, I will still be by you." - Connor Mead
" You look like a gay pirate !!" *no offence* - jenny

sorry laa ahaa i bored hehe.
the movie plot is just like X'mas carol...
JUST SAYING..XD
BYEE

*guys we should have a picnic NEXT time yea((:

2009-06-11T09:58:00.003+08:00

Ok my blog is dead.. like shit.haha!
Lately nothing much to post, don't feel like posting as well.
Don't feel like going to school, then in the end still have to go.
What the shit, now the band got plenty of reforms.
Yea, it's good, but it's doing more than anyone expected? I guessed so.
People are getting stressed more than I do..I'm a graduating student
BUT
who cares? I don't care. When I have a break, I get it, no matter what.
In the end, I will still study, just to get into a decent poly or Lasalle.
They see L1R4, not R5 you bastard.
Now I just hope the band members are able to cope, I'm sure they will(:
anyways, my blog is so dead, I doubt anyone would actually visit it! haha!
oh well.
Nothing much to say about.
*sigh*

2009-05-19T22:09:00.003+08:00

Exams are all over and out now.
I'm free!!
supposedly..
dang!
now got more things to worry
like chinese O lvl la
upcoming celebrations
band dinner?
Sucks..
barely can take a breather ..haha
I think I'm socially lacking in something
No idea what is it but..
ya..
btw i wrote 10 songs already.
Thats my 1st album
(((:

2009-05-10T22:36:00.002+08:00

Yea.
Halfway done for Mid years.

Left with..

Tues - Pure Literature P1
Wed - Elective History, Chemistry (Sci)
Thurs - Emaths P2, Physics (Sci)
Fri - OFF DAY!!
Sun and Sat for me to Slack for a bit.
Mon - POA P1, Emaths P1
Tues - Chinese listening compre-.-wtf

haha and yeap, got some of my inspiration back.
Jameus asked me to write about food! lol
sounds tasty. LOL

ok the days are getting better I think.
Yep just that MSN is dying today.
Everyone is mugging i guess.
Oh well.
Lol..

2009-05-04T19:39:00.003+08:00

So.
Exams are around the corner already.
So fast, hope it goes of fast.
and damn the swine flu..(-.-)
my mom working hospital la..
Oh well, I hope i can hit a B or C in english and 5 Bs for my Midyear..
no As..
I don't think i can make it .
Yea
I want to write a new song.
Just that,
I don't know what to start with..
Shit, there goes my inspiration once again.
Damn Exams.
Damn Swine Flu.

2009-04-27T18:54:00.006+08:00

Here it goes again, failing my papers again.
Bah..it's not even the 'O's.. whats the problem??
Yea, life is so good to be free.
Not the best but I like it though,
no much things to worry about at the moment.
Flashbacks in the past,
right now,
I would be settling some friendship/social problem.
Well, can't specify which is it can I?
Ya, now step down from band,
no worries of self-practice
no worries for the section. (Currently yes I still am-.-)
no worries of admin work. ( I screwed a lot in the past)
no worries about SYF (It's over)
no worries about opening and closing the band room (though i still go down as often as i used to)
Sadly, everything seems to be drifting away.
..thinking about it, i kinda' like my so sophisticated life..
It's so full of color,
red orange yellow green blue indigo violet?
black and white?
Dark and Bright?
It's all over, as I told myself.
I'm moving on.
to this dull and monotonous life...
It's like from City to Countryside.
Everything is so peaceful here.
Although I have studies to look out for,
I still felt, burden-less?
Perhaps it's a time for me to rest and relieve myself??
No I guess, this sophisticated life i had,
The one i suffered the most, and learned the most from,
happens for
a reason.
And I suppose that now,
there are no problems such as those in ages past,
Problems like those are like dramas on TV
You start watching episode one,
you "love" it,
the characters, the play, the makeup, the designs, the aesthetics, all.
However, in this sequel
certain episodes make you happy
whereas some harbors evil
the characters,
it bugs you
You want to bring this "evil character"
to it's demise.
but its drama
you can only watch.
Wanting the drama to end
you proceeded episodes after episodes
you became addicted
and the pain is not going to go away.

You see, simply,
ending this is not by watching it
go on and on.
It will never end.
It's addiction, like dramas.
You stop watching.
Just stop.
The pain will be numbed
The addiction will cease.

is just simply,
let it go?

It's maiden prologue
Agonized with anticipation
The finale and epilogue
Carries the fear of cessation

it's the play's end after all
why is there no curtain call?

2009-04-22T21:36:00.003+08:00

Re-Living the Cold War.
Problems are solved..only on the surface.
It seems everyone has a sense of rivalry amongst each individual.
I had pulled out of it, I knew things were 'solved'
Just that when I popped my head back in to take another look,
everything just went haywire.
This, I really gotta pullout, I don't wanna be involved with such things.
I'm tired. all this complications.
But I'm sure, it will all end well once again, like how the Cold War ended
Ending Communism and USSR. (geez)
So guys.
Stop it. Let it go.

Datta . Dayavham . Damyata
Give . Sympathize . Control .

Give in to the ones you cared.
Sympathize the pitiful.
Control your life, Life is yours.
You need not control others life,
if you can't do likewise yourself.

~ Off- Centre

2009-04-20T22:35:00.004+08:00

I guess all things do end well.
though how much it twisted and turned in the process
though it went off-track
though its stuck at a dead end.
though I almost lost you, your trust, your everything
though its hurting to know the ugly truth.
its just the ugly truth that tore everything to pieces
Somehow it is the ugly truth that is beautiful(:
in the end,

Really, thanks.
Thanks for understanding my plea.
I'm just glad you are well now(:

2009-04-19T18:57:00.002+08:00

At last, the sky is clearing.
I think everyone is also at fault in one way or another rite?
Well, i hope it won't happen again.
I was really harsh cos i had enough of being nice.
But now, I guess i still have to, I know I'm not like this.
In the process, some fell to help others. Some are just trying to ignore and pretend
Someone told me once, that even though you say you don't care, actually, you still care.

Yea and sometimes, really.
In this situations
Even explanations don't work.
No matter how hard.
But I know everyone needs time to think through all.
I understand and i gladly let you.
Well, maybe you all would know what i mean, maybe no.
I'm sure the person does(:
So Sorry for Probing SO much.
Sorry for being irritating
Sorry for being bad
but,
I just can't help to care and be a nice person, really.
I just want to simply, you know, help you the best I can.
I got agitated cos you wouldn't tell me anything.
I want to care but you don't give me chance to.
I am clueless, angry, worried and maybe a little sad.
I really want you to be fine, I care cos that's what friends are for, rite?
Close friends to the extent like as if the very same blood flows through us,
like those of siblings.
Being like this, we sure have our ups and downs.
Perhaps this is when we are down isn't it?
Of all,
Hope you would understand.
You know how sad i felt when u ask me to leave you alone?
Despite giving you the time, maybe you hadn't the time to give a reply.
I know you are confused so I decided to stop it.
I left you alone as you wanted me to.
Unfortunately, I'm just too worried that I can't help it but to..
You will know very soon
You can blame me all you want but just..
At the very least,assure me?
or
Tell me whats wrong??
I just need to talk to you.
So we can solve our problems and stop being like this

I'm willing to help.
Are you?

Confessions don't work for me.
You know it.
I've said it before
You may have missed it but,
just to let you know.
Simply,
Please don't misunderstand me):
Cos' I just wanna Stick to the Status Quo
Of it all, please accept my sincere apologies.
Thanks..

2009-04-18T18:03:00.002+08:00

After much thought, I realise.
That
I shouldn't bother so much already.
It's not going to change la.
My fate..
I leave it to decide my destiny.
And YES.
I'm not gonna bother about you, you, you or you anymore.
anyone lar.
All the gina gina
problematic people.
I bother.
You all just don't appreciate.
And then when i don't bother
then you guys like attitude-.-
Aiyah, well, i did my part.
I just can't be bothered by you all already.
I'm going to move on again.
Very fast uh?
Haha and pls..
this is what
I have made my judgement over you people
and is definately not emo-ing.
I have a backbone
I am independent
Partly, I am Stuck in Between.
I don't know what you all thinking lar.
Fuck sake.
Then like..aiyaa
I try to help, then all like segregate segregate.
turn you backs away.
Geez.
Tell you all what lar
I'm just gonna leave
Leave you all.
I cannot stand you people somehow.
The communication isn't there already.
some of you i know perhaps ignoring me, attitude me or whatever.
I don't know why u are doing this but is it me or is it u and fucking problems?
People, I'm just way too nice.
in a way.
I have to please everyone.
but, so many
How?
tell me how lar jibai?
cannot rite fuck?
I no longer believe in like you guys are my BFFs..
yaa rite man.. SO MUCH FOR THAT sia.
U dont know the meaning then what the fuck u say for?
then ure all act as if like frens and go on.
Why don't ure just sit down and solve the bloody prob??
srsly la, some of u are realy fine, thnx
the rest leh
JUST
FUCKYOU MAN
FUCK YOUR LIFE FUCK YOUR EVERYTHING!!!!
FUCK YOUUUUU COS YOU ALL as in ALL ARE A DISAPPOINTMENT
I THINK
IM GONNA BE PROUD AND NOT MODEST
IM GONNA BE EVIL BE BAD, NOT BE NICE
IM GONNA bE IGNORANT AND NOT CARING
IM GONNA BE TOTALLY AGAINST YOU ALL FUCKERS
I DON'T NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU ALL.
ONLY KNOW ATTENTION-SEEKING
CROWD ATTRACTER
JUST FUCK YOU
SELL YOURSElF
SELL!!
JUST KNOW HOW TO PANGSEH.
JUST KNOW HOW TO EMO
JUST KNOW HOW TO IGNORE PEOPLE
I'VE THROWN MY STUDIES TECHNICALLY
MY SEC4 LIFE FOR A BUNCH OF PEOPLE I REALLY FELT THEIR BETTER THAN ANYONE I COULD POSSIBLY SEE
THAT I'VE LOVED AND TRUSTED BUT YOU ALL JUST DON'T SEEM TO CARE, ALREADY.
you may not be involved but THE REST ARE!
EH UNFAIR LA.
SHOW SOME APPRECIATION CAN OR NOT?!
I KNOW I OLDER
I STILL GIVE IN TO YOU ALL WHAT
I TRY TO BE NICE AND YOU JUST GIVE ME SHIT
YOU NOT ONLY DO IT TO ME BUT THE OTHER PEERS OF YOURS.
I KNOW
THEY ARE NOT HAPPY WITH YOU STINKY ATTITUDE
I REALLY DNO HOW TO EXPLAIN THIIIISSSS BUT
IM GONNA LEAVE LA.
IM LEAVING YOU FUCKERS
COS ITS STUPID AND MEANINGLESS ALREADY
DON'T YOU THINK?
I NEED A FUCKING BREAK FROM YOU ALL SIA SERIOUSLY.

just fuck you all la.
this is anger, not me being emo-.-
i say fuck not cse its cool but to convey on my point strongly.
i hope u wld understand
you all.
disappointed with you all.
you all made me feel down.
really.
don't bother about me too.
i dont deserve
cse i think i shldnt be with you people at all.
i need to rest..
end of my long post...
im just...too tired

2009-04-15T21:56:00.003+08:00

Please stop playing lame games..
It's irritating.
People have their privacy so do you.
Well,
I'm just saying...

Perhaps being too cautious and paranoid
wouldn't do me any good after all huh?
Well, I cannot hope. I cannot pray.
I have to succumb to Fate.
No matter how i try to change it.
Fate is everything.
I don't care if Jesus or Buddha exist
but they are not doing any good for me.
Perhaps my life is just have to live my life alone? Forever?
Everyone around me always have their chance.
Why not me? Hope is hope that ONNNE day a miracle would happen.
I told myself no.
Cannot hope.
Cause I don't believe it would happen.
It's just like this.
I just gotta follow.
I can't change.
I can only hopelessly hope for a change.
The hope that never came.
I'm too hurt
I never want to get hurt ALL over again.
People say i deserve a chance, I stand a chance.
But i believe no.
It's just too impossible.
Whenever it starts, I would know.
and when it does, my love life is screwed all over again.
Now more than twice bitten, i decided not to be a risk-taker.
but to be someone who
waits, waits and waits..
aimlessy
searching for someone who is willing to accept.
then again,
It's not gonna happen.

2009-04-08T23:04:00.003+08:00

Band No. 147
Temasek Wind Ensemble...
SILVER.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!@!##$
kinda unexpected..
everyone is like from HIGH to LOW siaa
aiya...me too. I feel like shit
I know we don't deserve such results.
BUt LIke I said,
No matter WHAT WE GET, LETS ALL BE HAPPY RITE??
hehe of cos.
ONe big family
HAPPY LA
SILVER IS OK.
we maintained our standards.
Just we need more years and time.
Besides, our results are very subjective.
Don't really show our true potential.
yup.

Though its all over for me now,
I gotta go already.
The Onus is on the sec3s now.
hehe all the best for TWE.
(:

2009-04-07T20:22:00.002+08:00

One LAST Day before SYF.

Hais, at last its here.
After this I would be stepping down already!~
Though feeling kinda Nostalgic.
I hope the band do well!
No matter what.
We are still one, all together!

"Band No.147............
......the Temasek Symphonic Band a.k.a Temasek Wind Ensemble.....
..................... award"

this blank will be filled by the end of tomorrow.
heh. All the best guys!

2009-04-04T13:23:00.003+08:00

SYF this coming Wednesday.
Hehe. NO SCHOOL!
I don't know why but i don't feel much about it..
Perhaps its kinda' expected huh..
Anyways, nowadays school time is kinda slack..
Plenty of my teachers are going for courses,
which i don't know when it's coming to an end?
Worse still, some teachers are going on pregnancy leave.
-.-
simply fabulous sia.
on this Olevel year.
haha but i already don't want to push myself to study.
So what's the point?
I just do what I'm suppose to do.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
And I want to go for Alumni Chalet in June(:
hope i can make it .
Haha

2009-03-28T19:58:00.003+08:00

You're Not Alone.

That Night. I remember
You tossed your bet on him away.
but I'm sure
that feeling would stay.

You are down and out.
You just wanna scream your pain out loud.
But you're alone,
all alone.

You are scared.
You are afraid to
face this world
but i would say..

You're not alone
You're not alone
not alone ..
oooh
Believe me and you'll see.
That I love you
Tomorrow will be a better day for you
You're never alone
cos' I'm always with you.

Looking at your lovely face
my girl
i really want you to be safe.

Forgetting the past
cos' you know it won't last
Stop now! let it all go
and stand up
to let everyone know

that you want things to be right
you wanna fight
and I'm going with you till the end
cos'

You're not alone
You're not alone
not alone ..
oooh
Believe me and you'll see.
That I love you
Tomorrow will be a better day for you
You're never alone
cos' I'm always with you.

I know you're sick and tired of this endless pain
I know you wanna die and leave this hateful world
but can you see that
I'm sitting next to you
Please hang in there
this last moment for me

You're not alone
You're not alone
not alone ..oooh
Believe me and you'll see.
That I love you
Tomorrow will be a better day for you
Don't live in the past as it won't do

Hand in hand we'll see this through..

..enjoy..

2009-03-26T17:54:00.002+08:00

Today is such a great day.
Out of 5hrs of lesson, only 2hrs got teacher!!
HAHA great!
Have been slacking a lot lately.yea as usual.
So i think i should start studying soon yup.

I think i have to be more firm myself.
Cannot be pushed around.
I think I'm too easy-going,
I think I'm doing things that suit others only.not myself.
Perhaps another change again?
Once again,

...a twist in my story...

2009-03-24T22:08:00.003+08:00

Everything now i don't really care.
I'm getting shitty results..my English fail, Maths fail. pissed.
and Some things just got a little messy lately.
although its somehow within my grasp, I can't seem to prevent it any further.
Its just too complicated you see.
hais. If it were last time, everything so carefree.
No awkwardness. No hard feelings. How good is that?
I think I care too much.
Perhaps I shldn't care.
But no, I can't leave some of my frens aside for others.
I really want to spend my remaining time with everyone possible, close ones.
but i seriously don't have enough of it for everyone.
I may have did something wrong to you,
I'm here to say sorry.
I don't have any ill-intentions.
Please Forgive Me.

Now the most important things in my life now,
my future in music
my close friends.

Music is my life.
It's part of me.
So are you.
and everyone else around.
Please don't feel sad, if you are one of them.
Coz I don't want to lose you.
like how hard i cling on to my Music. not letting go..
ever.

2009-03-18T00:23:00.001+08:00

My Reflection
past and present

Today, the 18th of march, Wednesday. I'm going to share my very own reflection of my band life over these years.

MY SECONDARY 1-2 BAND LIFE
OK, lets start with my life in band.
Since sec 1, I joined band mainly 2 reasons.
One, I wanted sports(badminton) but there isn't any favourable to me.
Two, I love music so i decided a change in lifestyle(: soundss cool rite? heh.
Its just simply two reasons why I'm here.
However, So much has changed over the years.
Lets begin with my 1st year as a junior band member.
I was quite enthusiastic in the 1st place.
Unfortunately, I landed in the INFAMOUS Tuba section): when i wanted to enter the Saxophone section..
I wanted to play saxophone cos I scored quite high for tenor and baritone saxophone during the auditions..however i didn't manage to get it.
Instrumentation already destroyed my future ambitions in band.
I started to lose my enthusiasm in band
I started to skip practices.(like seriously)
I went to play soccer and do other stuffs until Zat came around to look for those idiotic band members.
I started to mock the conductors i hated.(e.g MR G, MR H)
I started to like feel band is wasting my life away.
While on the other hand, i see people enjoying it in fact..zz
people got what they wanted, I didn't.
I was shy so i kept quiet..
then came the complaints from teachers that i skipped band.
My parents were called. I was been interrogated by teachers.
I sooooo wanted to quit band..
OK so maybe, I should be more serious.
Furthermore, there was a major change in instructors. Zat took over so i guess things would be better than before.
So i started to make another change back to my musical life.
I began to return to do my self-practices.
I began to attend band.
However, I sucked practically at everything. ( cos i hated playing the tuba)
At 1st, my standard as a junior was quite good.
Cos i had music background and so on.
but later i realised i wasn't that good.
Jin yong my sec4 senior then, called me down for extra practices.
LIKE SERIOUSLY.
Like exactly how i treat my current junior tangsen, minus the scolding part of cos.
and this extra practices is ONLY ME!
thats when i started to dislike jinyong.
at end of sec1, i was rewarded the SL position of the Tuba section.
So i guess, Jinyong's intention was very clear after all.
With Great Powers, Come Great Responsibility.
I Had a Responsibility.

SECONDARY 3 BAND LIFE
life that purely sucked to the CORE
Mainly because, Zat gave me the council post as the Band Major of Music.
I had so much conflicts, throughout the whole year.
It was because I was simple-minded and immature then.
One such example, was speech day 2008.
I was put I/C of the fanfare band that day.
However i lied and i went out to play.
I neglected my duties.
That was where all the problems start to flow in from. Its all my fault.
My grades fell greatly. I was at a loss in relationships with other people.
I started to feel the pressure as a BMM.
I thought it was simple, just music.
However, it was not.
I had taken the post for granted.
I quarrelled with people.
I neglected my responsibilities.
I was down and out.
I was a complete failure. TOTALLY.at a loss of what to do.
I Lost most of my friends. Not physically lost but emotionally, my friends began to drift away.
I too, start to drift away.
BUT, that was when realize who my true friends are.
Those people around me, who were there with me when i was sad,
when i was really totally at a loss of what to do.
At these critical moments in time,
they advised,
guided
and saw me through the countless hardships i had.
I then realize that all this while,
I have a purpose, a motive in all this things.
I have to learn to let go of the past and focus on the present and the future
I realize I have to mature.
And I'm really thankful for now who I am.
Thankful for those who were beside me in my times of difficulties. You've seen me through the sadness of my entire Band life.

And those who were maybe initially people i detest, but now who I'm alright with,
or people who turned against me,
or people who let me down.
I do not really care they are living or not. Even if they are dead it ain't my business.

SECONDARY 4 - Future

I've made another step into the last and final year of my band life in TWE.
I havent gone through much but right now.
I feel like a grandfather, telling his children about his experiences, sharing with them his feelings/thoughts/opinions then.
Some of you might know these things,
it may sound stupid,
but it's all about learning from your mistakes and all.
Of course, I am going to see my juniors through their band life.
I am going to remain in band.
Cos i know that my sole purpose in band is not just to realize my ambitions as a musician or conductor.
But also, everyone around me(:
I wish to see them grow up.
Guided.
Not having the similar life i had gone through in these 4yrs in TWE
I have not done much YET for the band, and its members.
I really would do.
However, a message to TWE members:
I believe..

Embrace the Music
only when you want to
NOT when you are asked to.

A Strong Band is a United Band.
A Weak Band is a Divided Band
No matter how musical individual members are.

Great Minds think alike,
Great Bands too(:

The end

2009-03-08T21:54:00.004+08:00

Time flies past very fast.
Time waits for no man.
Now, my time is about to end
I'm on the verge of leaving everything behind.
Hopefully, everything.
Though some can,
I just cannot leave out all the rest.

The Silhouette.

2009-02-23T22:59:00.003+08:00

After a series of events,
I guess.
I must.
I perhaps.
must stop,
pause,
and think about it.

thinking properly and facing the situation.
is so much better then getting angry over it.
I know.
but i can't seem to understand this point, based on what I've done.

Its just me.
Me and my rash attitude.

I want a change.
I no longer want to be the weak, childish person who can't face small problems.
I want to be strong, not weak.
and I'm going to be one.

I'm going to show that.
I'm no pushover.
I'm no loser.
I'm going to show others my will and power.
I'm going to gain others' respect, not forcefully.
I'm not going to stand aside and watch things go.
I want a Change.
Change to me
Change to my sad and miserable life in secondary 2.
Where I hide
and not show.

So why?
Why must i hide?
Can't I show?
I'm just too immature and afraid of things.
Maybe this change would bring me upon something great? something meaningful?
Unlike now.
Everything is so pretentious to me.
I don't seem to achieve.
I can yearn
but never to attain.
Why?

Again reasons are meant to be learned.
not meant to be realized.

My dear readers,
If you are reading this.
and YOU know me for quite a weak person. (maybe not)
Then perhaps you are wrong . .

I'm going to show,
who I really am . . for a changed person.

Slowly . .
Subtly . .

2009-02-22T18:02:00.002+08:00

Everything.
exist for a reason
I believe that living in this pitiful World.
There's bound to be a reason.
Am I to find that reason?
or Am I to wait for it to pop in front of me?
or
Is Life a Mistake?
I wonder.

What do you think then?
It does not set me free.

2009-02-19T20:18:00.002+08:00

Things just gets worse by the day.

My piano exams in 6 days and I'm not able to play properly??!!
cos i really suck alot at classical..-.-
Yea..and the recording at SCH
I really thought it was quite good.
but it turned out to be bad.
Bloody hell.
I no time!
I don't have anytime to focus!!
This week 5 tests.
And i don't think I'm able to ace all..
I don't have time to waste on other things too . .
I've already given up gaming.
I've already played less basketball.
I've already stopped running..(long ago)
My only recreation left is probably.
Piano
and Msn

Nothing else.
I don't have time to sit down to read a book or something..
maybe sometimes i do infront of the computer but not always!

Whatever I don't give a damn.
Everything just seem to . . Collide.
The time i have is always not enough.
Why?
Maybe, I should just stand strong, and face it.
Perhaps it's just my life.
Perhaps all these things are just simply obstacles i have to face?
perhaps then.
Maybe the solution to all my problems is just ahead but i don't seem to see it ?
I really don't know.
My problems are all around.
Be it Big or Small.
And now
I guess I just have to face it all..

2009-02-15T15:34:00.000+08:00

Can someone tell me what to do?

I'm like bored of everything . .
sick and tired . .
at a loss .
I don't mean it.
I don't force upon.
I don't want reactions
cos i really can't help it.
but what to do about it?
Can I just go on and forget it?

or
Must I do something . .?

must I?

I wonder how.

Gotta go my own way?

2009-02-12T17:19:00.000+08:00

I sometimes wonder.
If I'd talked so much about others.
What about myself?
Me in this world?
Well...
i guess some moments in life gotta reflect
Maybe i should put the blame on myself
Maybe i should shut the fuck up and don't say a word
Maybe i can just leave everything alone, and don't be such an extra idiot
Maybe things..
things just don't want to go my way..
or simply,
don't ever want to..
to go the way i wanted.

Perhaps its all fated.
I can't change things.
Like how i can't change my junior.

Perhaps.
If I'd leave it aside for now.
Things Would change??

I could only hope for it..
guess there isn't any thing.
that can be taken for granted at all..

Once again.
I waited.

All the best to me..

2009-02-09T21:38:00.000+08:00

Being emotional is one thing. Its also not the very 1st time I got into this situations.
Emotional? So be it. I don't really give a damn about the things revolving around me.
It has already happen so many times...so many and really, almost the same kinds of the past, be it work, studies, music or relationships.

why?..
when is it going to stop.
Can I just have a break?

Oh well.

I can't just live like this forever.

would I?

2009-02-08T19:07:00.000+08:00

Ignorance . Defiance . Pretense . Cowardice .

Four words to describe those fuckers out there.ya
there are many.
I'm putting it as a general term.
I'm not pissed.
I'm disappointed. totally.
Fuckers have been given chance over chance.
but they treat it like no one's business
They don't there to voice out.
All they could do is hide behind and curse.
Isn't that defiance and cowardice?
Not just that.
Some people do hide a dagger behind their smile.
In front of others they fake their whole fucking life through,
and after wards start to curse and swear?
Isn't that Defiance, Cowardice and Pretense altogether?
yea don't be surprise that I know all this crap of yours eh?
Sometimes its just a tit for tat.
pros and cons
you fuckers choose one side,
I do choose my side as well.
maybe you guys think I'm turning to the "dark" side.
but do I care? There's no more room for such a comment.
NO.

You might want to forgo such a ruthless friend like me ya?
Well I say GO AHEAD then.
GO.DO IT.
I don't really deserve such friends like the lot of you.
You don't ask me why.
I have been Betrayed, Bullied, Disrespected by some others in the past.
AND THIS? such a small thing.
I'm already used to all these.
It doesn't matter to hurt more . .

On the other hand,
those few amongst all, asked me to chill.once again
Although I say i can't really CHILL anymore
but I really appreciate it.
thanks again.

And I will. After all is over.
Would things change?
What to do . .
You just have to go the hard way after all . .

2009-02-07T20:24:00.000+08:00

After this long and tiring and annoying freaking hell week..
FINALLY got to rest for abit
yup
went to alumni band.(honestly BORING)
then on to lunch with some band mates
(siti sorry ah. SUAN you too much dnt sad AH.
don't hate me also LOL)

yup then went on to treat myself and tailored my sch pants
after such a long time of decision making Wahaha.

yea and went to Bras Basah to get TYS for maths and science.
(really very cheap!!) haha

Jieyi and xinrui sorry ah. LOL
because
your Economics books are just too expensive.(you can ask tristan)
LOL

Yup had a tiring day, but fun.woohoo.
went home to makan.with relatives

a late cny dinner.haha

2009-02-06T23:31:00.000+08:00

The band has gotten rid of a few of the weakest members, sorry to say but what's good is that the sound of the band as whole, improved.
However, the essence of childish-ness still lurks.
I've given thousand of chances.
People think I don't care.
but i do.
the next time i stand up on the podium

......it'll not be the same story again..

2009-02-05T22:54:00.000+08:00

COMPLAIN.COMPLAIN.COMPLAIN.
From here, the cycles goes on once again.

2 NOTIFICATIONS of the day.
ONE,
people said my junior who comes every wed morning to do self practice w/o punching in , is making too much noise, and I don't know who that asshole is.
TWO.
people got punished for wed morning practice and were made to write a whole chunk of lines as punishment.

AND THEN AGAIN PEOPLE FUCKING HELL COMPLAIN AGAIN!!!
my fellow blog readers,
let me tell you this.
we don't give a dam to that kinda loser attitude ok?
that's that!!
Some people accepted their fate, some loser don't
OR should I say, LOSERS??
Its those losers' fault and they think they can complain to spoil us? dream on.

we don't give a dam..

2009-02-05T19:31:00.001+08:00

Friends come and go.
Like cars at a junction.
once they see the green light.
they moved on..

probably not to return by the same way..

2009-02-04T21:45:00.000+08:00

Is everything gonna change?
No matter what, I just really really hope everything . .
remains the same.
It would do.

2009-02-03T21:00:00.000+08:00

I'm such a down and out person
With no apparent reason i feel that way.
I can't achieve much? All I know is MUsic??!
Although some may think otherwise, I think I'm such a loser.
HOPELESS
A LOSER.
FAILURE.
SUCKA..
ILL-FaTeD SCreWed Up PerSon Who bcomes a fucker for no reason..
I know I am
But..

"Its all over a god damn joke"

Thats what you think eh?

TKAMB ~ " I don't hafta take your sass!"

At this very point in time, I realise I couldn't stand alone anymore.
NO MORE.

I just need this Very someone here.
Please.
Maybe You know who you are,
Maybe You don't
But what you really have to know . .
is that you have someone
always by you all these times . .

and I need you now . .

2009-02-02T20:52:00.000+08:00

My official 1st day of remedials in school. It's totally killing...KILLING!!! The teachers just pile up stuff after stuff...no mercy at all, like seriously. Not only that, there's band on one side, and O lvls on the other..simply nonsense.

If I were to tell you, a 6 pointer optioned for Temasek JC...and couldn't get in?!! Its seriously like fuck, i tell u. The teachers drive us hard to get the results in us. It's all the sake for the reputation of the school, like some teachers say, whatever we do in school or outside school displays our image.
That's all the school cares about??! what the fucking hell logic is this??! They give us so much pressure and expect us to get the results?? without even a gurantee in ouor future studies??! Isn't this nonsense??! Furthermore, the education system nowadays is so competitive, how do you want us students to survive?? The only possible way is to fight and study very hard, but is that worth it?

Simply, the school, this school, is barely a wolves in sheeps clothing. trying to hide a knife behind a smile, and we as students. do ALL the hard work.

2009-01-31T23:57:00.000+08:00

I'm totally at a loss of what to do. There don't seem to be any other way.. I also don't know why am I so serious in this... I am! I know I am, but why don't others understand my situation?? Well, I don't blame you for this. I realize I can't always put the blame on others. Sometimes I gotta' Do things my own way, Sometimes it's just me and my flaws. not others? I really do not know. I don't want to hurt others but i guess i have to. I don't want to insult my own peers my age, even though i don't want that, I still have to. It's hurtful as you can see...

Its just either, I criticize, or I keep it within me.. bearing the burden.
I have a responsibility but I don't seem to live up to carry it..
Do I have still have a choice?A solution?

2009-01-29T22:49:00.000+08:00

Well, change my skin after sometime ya. Found is rather boring, and people say my add is too long.
Here is the changed blog, a changed me, a changed life? Hmmm would be adding a tagboard tomorrow or something, the website got problem. Lolx.
and sure, I will more contacts ya? haha no time no time now!~

anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAYTON. (need me to play a songXD)
though i don't think you would be looking at this. HAHA

the awaking.

2009-01-29T20:57:00.000+08:00

Another yet.
I feel.
I'm so going to step down soon.yet i feel i have not accomplish much as a band major itself.

Why ?? I often ask myself? Probably bcos i did too much self-learning myself or through the help of the best ppl around me? I remembered my past was shitty.
I had conflicts. many. some I can remember vividly. Some i can't, although the idea is there..

But all brought me up where i'm standing now. thanks to all who were there.
however, all this. maybe it all took too much time.
by now. i would like to accomplish something in band.as in do my part in improving the music in band or somehthing? totally cliche..i just simply want band members to be responsible musicians, and willing to learn. MOst importantly, Know their main purpose in band. It doesn't have to be like..Uh, I must not FAIL SELF PRAC!!..i must listen to my SL kinda thing. And I know got dam screwed up ppl, i dunt have to say names la..they say all this to me, JUST FOR SHOW ONLY. come'on la, I was there once what the fuck?

You guys practically said that cse you guys want to protect your image ya? screw u! if u not interested then F-off la knn.. i believe people live for a reason la, So if u'd prefer to live the life of pretense? then You would never realise your true meaning of life..(ok i sound alot like a christian here). ok i say no use uh? i tell u la..give you the picture.

You guys come strolling down happily ah? goo down to the band room, and start to practice ya? HAHAHA of course that isnt a problem la. but do you remember what you say before that? well i dno? but most prly u said this: UHHHH....Band sux.. mst go back self prac sia.. ..
uh how smart sia.
pretty bigshot assholes tink they can live their way thru band like that? dream on!
definately saying this, i can't stop anything. And for those people who really slog their guts out thanks. alot. you guys have ur dignity and have committed urself, you will find your reason why you are here all along.

Unfortunately la, i have to say that most of this crap comes from the sec4s. the seniors. or i could say USELESS la. mayb one or 2 are not. i know im one of them. as u can see from my previous post, i couldn't even take care of one junior? As a band major, what more the band then? Isn't that utter useless??! I really feel that useless. Although I don't blame my conductor for that comment, I just think its totally true. People have to face up to the facts anyway, so why not just face the music?? some people till now still dnt accept this fact la.. some people just think life is for fun, yet some of them are fucking christians(no offence).some people don't take anything seriously. Well, i think you deserve the title 'useless' la..

As seniors, we gotta set an example for everyone including your peers. CAn't you see if everyone work together in perfect harmony, won't everything be like smooth-going? there would not be any problem. Aiya..I know. Peopl would be out there saying that i'm an ass? or something? But do u tink i give a dam to ur useless comments, if there are any? well sorry to say no. AT ALL.

If everyone has the heart to do it, The HEART!! nothing is impossible. You dont have to see it as forcing upon urself, learn to accept it, and you would know the joy in it. AND you don't have to COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN YOUR WHOLE BLOODY LIFE COS U NOT HAPPY WITH THE CONDITIONS, GIVE PEOPLE SO MUCH PROBLEM...uh thats another story.

signing off:
symphony no. 22

FUCKING PISSED..

2009-01-29T20:05:00.000+08:00

sick and tired of everything.
Hope it all be gone soon...can't stand it.

I scolded the hell out of tangsen on wednesday morning.
Its just like after cny and im like scolding?? early in the morning
Honestly, Ive never scolded anyone in band before. That morning was officially my 1st.
I did not blogged it on wednesday itself, cos i was tinking whether i should ever post this or not..
well, i guess i should since i'm here already..

Before i go on, let me tell u this. I'm going to go vulgar to the extreme..so be warned.Ready?
well, imagine this. You have someone under you, in work or any aspect. He doesn't have any problem most of the time, just one thing. FORGETFULLNESS!!!
that one word, has brought alot of godam problems for me..

My junior in band. He is hardworking, just that he is so busy until he cannot come down for bloody self prac??! cheebye.. like dat oso cannot..Then zat have to like kaobei alot..
He has been interrogated several times..but still yet to change..
Last friday, he comitted a flaw..he forget to punch out..
I then decided that..i should do something..about this fucked up business.
then on the early hours of wednesday morning, i cultivated a very firece aura around me.(maybe some of you dont see it)

Along the way, he still have the guts, the godam guts to tell me that he cannot come at my expected time. Absurd!..but i still let him..i wasnt in the mood to pick on this kinda thing.

Surprisingly, HE CAME ON TIME.
HAH..how 'pleasant'..i asked him in to get his tuba, his file and his ass kicking to the big windows area..then so on so on ..I NAG NAG NAG then on to SCOLD SCOLD SCOLD>>> fuck la..then i slam table slam the cupboard. demanding. strict. vicious. i never felt or have an experience with such a climax before.
Some band members asked me why was i scolding my junior. Everyone thinks his bloody innocent, please la fuck. this is not your fucking business and you think my junior is bloody innocent??! omg. if thats the case i wld have took the plunge and die..

My junior is like this..
slow. weak. Lousy. Incompetitive. troublesome. loves to idle. IRRESPONSIBLE. FORGETFULL!!!!..loves to play comp-maple?? wtf..get a life la..a fucking asshole who have three activities to look out every week, namely debating, chinese reading club(oh pls), band.
Band is the main one and he yet alw skip a little here and there.

But of cos, if he was a much better player? or he has other section members to cover in for him? NOOOO there is no other way!! THERE IS NO OTHER WAY MY FRIEND!!
DO YOU KNW THE SEVERITY OF THE GODAM SITUATION>>>argh..
you are the only fucking junior left in the Tuba section..You want to let it fall or not. Its really up to you ya? just that if u really want it to go down..I will not rest k? i will not..

I really wanted to curse and swear at you godam it cse the whole point of scolding you is not only i really want you to freaking hell change your cheebye attitude?? and also, your weakness has exposed my flaw in not teaching you bloody well..You are my only jr and what the fuck you want?? YOu think you bigshot la? tink we have to pamper you cos you areso called our only 'lifeline'?? LET ME TELL YOU BLOODY HELL NO!!
NOO NOO NOO
if you tink that way i tell u YOu ARE so bloody WRONG YOu fucker.
So in simple terms if you are to bloody blur? You weak, I'm even weaker? IM WEAKER!! prly the weakest. Im so called useless. USELESS BLOODY HELL??? DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE GROUP YOU IN THE MAJORITY AS A USELESS PERSON>??? lIke TOTALLY 100% USELESS..??

I hope anyone who reads this get my godam point..
anyway. this wont be the final post abt such a thing.
there will sure be more..Im very sure. Although i know. why not prevent it?
its all cos. ones ways are not under my control, Its all up to the person whether he wants to change or not..thats my point..

signing off:
symphony no. 22

2009-01-06T21:57:00.000+08:00

YUP as usual. When school starts, starts to blog about teachers and school. HAHA.
yea, 1st day last fri was fine. A little intro here and there. Got Mrs Ng, my ex-co form last yr. And lets all say bye bye mrs VERMA hahaaa.. no Offence. cse now mrs verma is teaching the class next door, 3/6. I'm sorry jerald and Siti.

ok here are the following tchers
Forms: Mrs Ng :)
Mdm Lim ( waa better watch my attire lols!)

English: Mdm sharifah :) heard she is goood..gd lucks to my english!hehe
MTL: Mdm Liu -.- shit la not again!!!@#$%^&*
Emaths: Mrs Debbie Wong :/ not sure of her....rather boring on 1st lesson.
Physics: Mr Mubarak :) Nice man, Nice haircut!! woohoo (just kiddin)
Chem: Mrs Teo :) Funny tcher, same as my last yr chem tcher. but she will br leaving for
maternity leave!! ahhh wish my chem gd luck then.
SS/Ehist: Mrs Ng :)) my form tcher, yea, no verma!!
Pure Lit: Mr Tan :)) yeaaaa we can hear more stories.
POA: Mdm Yeo :))) pro tcher..yea.

Thats just a summary of the teachers, let me go into details.

English, taught by Mdm Sharifah, a used-to-be band tcher i/c. I heard from the seniors that her teaching is quite good, and SHE IS FUNNY MAN HAHA. She said that everyone must speak the universal language ENGLISH, then as long we are 5min in her range, we must speak ENGLISH or we GG!! walau..Best of all, we are her only english class!!! THAT MEANS, She can focus all on US for Os!! YESSSSS.

Then Chinese, omg! liu ying again....dang! kuku..=.= waaa she pro ah! Today 1st thing she did was tell us the motto for this year's chinese syllabus. The Os are in mid year, then she said, WE ARE GONNA READ MORE WRITE MORE PRACTICE MORE, mainly on essays and letter writing....zzzz NOOO...i must score well for chinese!:)) but as usual, she has not changed the least bit!! haha she wan us do essay on the 1st day of mtl lesson, then everyone never bring their books, then she sent us all down to book shop to buy it. However, the bookshop was freaking crowded and it took us half an hour to do so. By the time we came back, it was 20min b4 recess.
And guess what, SHE WAS US TO FINISH THE COMPO AND HAND UP !!!! WALAU BLOODY HELLL!!! dang..no choice la, i finished anw. AT least mdm sharifah told us a day b4 that tday have ENGLISH DIAGNOSTIC test, and its only the 3rd day of sch!! omg..

ermm, Maths...hmmm Debbie Wong ok la...just that she a little boring...haha. theres homework but i have not done...lols..Luckily i finish my hols hmwk alr..heheh!! Ehist and SS nth much to say, haven started much on lesson as Mrs Ng had alot admin work to do..

Ahh physics..MR MUbarak. he looks fierce but actually a very good teacher..and a very good sense of humour. rofl. he at 1st like very stern then suddenly became nice...haha just as long everyone plses him i guess.. all the best for physics!!

then chem, mrs teo, same as last yr. but now, she is pregnant haha. SHE is so funny sia. HAHA.
must be her pregnancy la ehem*...she keep saying the wrong stuff like say: copper and iron(ll) and iron(lll) the solution colour, its suppose to be blue, dirty green and reddish brown. then she say white..which is for other type of solutions..she paused and then ask us: ''ehhhh, wht did I say ah??hahaha!" then the class went: " walau!!" then she say: " hahaha wdv! just testing you only( its just an obvious excuse la haah)

Pure Lit, Mr KC tan, wa tell u man, he is one of my fav tchers man. He come in dnid intro. straight talk about Os. But if you dno him, haha, you wld tink that he is a boring tcher, but HELLNO!! HE so fun, very good at diverting topics, from Os, talked about his sch days, his cca and his stories. But he's stories very interesting lol..(not as sick as mr eng la fyi). Lazy write, I'd rather say haha.

Lastly, POA, Mdm Yeo. Yet another band tcher used-to-be. She is the best man, cse she is one of the tchers with 1st class honours in her forte, ACCOUNTS. My poa got hope aldy,(better then ms soh and mr tan kah siong hahaha)

AHHH , so shiok, now the tchers are more balanced compared to last yr's . Last yr the SChool was totally biased to my class due to our ever constant results...woohoo??(all borderline la lols)
NOw to work hard for SYF and MY pIano grd 8 exam. Once this are over, TIME FOR Os!
I aldy stress for Os aldy sia...can't wait for it to go...:))

signing off:
symphony no. 21

2009-01-04T19:21:00.000+08:00

Stars In The Sky

Stars in the sky
Standing by your side Watching over you
Protecting you from your blissful sleep
Shining the path with its shine
So you won’t fall in the dark forest road
Though dimly it shine but for you it will give its best
Exhausting itself shortening its life to shine even brighter
For you it will never be a waste
Cause you are the most important person in his life

Star sun and me
How I wish to be the star in the big blue sky
So I can have the chance to protect and care for you
The person I love the most
The one I care the most about
Like the star in the sky I hope I can always be with you
But when dawn come, the sun will come and outshine me from you
Can you wait , can you please wait for dusk to come
So I can see you once again again again

Sun in the sky
Blazing in the sky always there for you
Supporting all life with its shine
With its shine it provide light for all
It chase away the gloomy clouds that cause the rain
So you can have your fun Playing in the outside
Never crying again that rain have rob your fun
It bring hope it bring smile and laughter to the world
Chasing frown and cries away

Sun Star and me
How I wish to be the sun in the big blue sky
So I can have the chance to bring smile to you always
Chase away the frown and cries forever and always
Bringing hope bringing love to you
The person I love the most
The one that I care the most about
Like sun in the sky I hope that I can always be with you
But when dusk come, the star will come and chase me away from you
Can you wait, can you please wait for dawn to come
So I can see you once again again again

Me in this world
I can be like the stars and sun
Always be with you
Not like the star only at night
Not like the sun only at day
I can bring you smile make you happy
I can also give you many things else
One thing you can sure to believe me is that you won’t be burn if you are with me
So can you please give me a chance to be with me please.

Written by my friend

Jordan Neo

Fallen Angel

2008-12-29T19:55:00.000+08:00

Recently have been bored and i wanted to quit gaming. So i started to compose, write some lyrics.
Quite fun. Although its hard to do it at 1st as u need a lot of INSPIRATION.

Holiday . All I Need to Do . Be With You . and 2 untitled songs. haha
Okay. This is my 6th composition, Fallen Angel.
The mp3 version isn't out yet.
Here's the lyrics.

I'd love her
you know that
I simply want her to know
that I felt for her
And I'd Do And I'd wish
that she would be with me
Nothing could go wrong

Soon the skies turned gray
it all went astray
the fallen angel calls
All is lost, All is Gone.
What have you done?

You came and took her away
leaving it all behind for me to take
The pain and pretense within you heart
is crushing me beneath
Oh angel, take me away
Take me away

Darkness comes and fades away
The Dusk is over and Dawn is breaking
The Sun has risen, showing yourself
Though you've got her
you ain't got me.

You came and took her away
leaving it all behind for me to take
The pain and pretense within you heart
is crushing me beneath
Oh angel, take me away
Take me away

Dazzling beams befall you.
scorching you in pain
Burning you in hell I'd swear
It's time you felt my wrath

You came and took her away
leaving it all behind for me to take
The pain and pretense within you heart
is crushing me beneath
Oh angel, take me away
Take me away

You came and took her away
leaving your alibi for me to take
the pain and pretense within your heard
is crushing me beneath
Oh angel take me away,
take me away.

(not the best)

Signing off:
symphony no.20

2008-12-21T21:54:00.000+08:00

yesterday was so fun.
we all, namely
nat
jameus
glen
singru
edna
shermaine
christine
bryan
me
all went to noelyn's place for bbq.
ya so fun
we suan glen like hell abt prawns.
and we conspired to push SOME ppl into the pool.
haha. its like not too much ppl.
just the right amount of food.
cosy environment.
perfect man.
then we just sit there and eat talk laugh..
they said i was veh high that nite..maybe i laughed too much..
hahahahahhahaha
but it was rly fun la.

the 1st dish was bbq prawns.
then no one except me ate the head and shell.
I just ate everything la. i mean..it taste good anyways.
then glen and bryan were disgusted cse i ate everything
at the moment singru was abt to taste the head juices.
then glen was like WTF. donT!!
singru said, the 'juice' nice wht.
then i was like agreed la..
then glen like..wtf?! thats nt juice! thats shit!!
the shit clogged up in the prawn head then the prawn die.
i dno where he got that idea from but,,
lols then edna suddenly say:
YA ! PRAWN LA LIKE YOU LIKE DAT!,
(lookin at glen's physique oso etc)

glen then shutup liao.
jameus was wearing this shirt that caused much suspicion la..
a black Tshirt
with words saying: I'd rather watch TV
then we all say he come here just to kapok free food cse he wants to go back to watch TV.
lols

ya. what a fun nite.

signing off:
symphony no. 19

2008-12-11T20:18:00.000+08:00

Zzz, i srsly screwed up tday big time.
I'm like suppose to open the band room la..
then suddenly my tcher told me to come at 11am.
and sommore she told my dad.
He didn't let me go to sch of cos, since ive like going to sch all the time, though its a holiday.
then i have to stay home
then so coincident that clayton and ct have camp then they cannot come down.
I have to ask zat in the end to open,
sian, then zat dun have store room key oso, have to ask ct to come down to open.

dam.

signing off:
symphony no.18

2008-12-06T19:55:00.000+08:00

Every night in my dreams,
I see you..
I feel you..

my heart will go on, without you.

2008-11-26T23:55:00.000+08:00

Aftr 7mths concert is over at last..
though its not the best of all concerts

AT lEAST its over
man...can relax a bit now..

tday went out with Clayton, Chuncheng, Jieyi, Jomin, Xinrui, Glen, Tristan, Jerald, Jameus and Justin and Zane.

Went to watch madagascar 2.
Quite Hilarious...but i tink its qutie ok la..
they say they could hear my voice frm the other side of the cinema(exaggerating)*
and i could hear Chun Chengs lols.

then ltr the girls say wht go take photos la..
lol
then they take jumpshots la etc.
and ppl try to kajiao..(ya knw hu u are! lol)

then ltr aftr the girls left
we went to library walk ard...
abit sian la
but i dno y jameus like keep trying to find band scores
lols

ltr we went to Changi Airport cos zane wanted to go there ride the bloody skytrain.
LOLS
He so cute sia
I did'nt knw
we were at popeyes
at 1st zane wanted to go eat at airport cos he say his mom did cook.
then ltr we eat fin aldy
he say he going home to eat eat cos his mom got cook
then me clayton and chun cheng were like....AHHHHHHH!!
haa
so fun

hahaa

Signing off:

symphony no.17

2008-11-10T21:37:00.000+08:00

FUCK la..
MY PHONE SPOIL>.<>>and its just the beginning f the holidays...what a great start man..
and so many problems in band lately..fked up.

Signing off:

symphony no. 16

2008-10-27T21:34:00.000+08:00

AHHHH!!!..
I tink im going crazy over LAN liao!! aahhaa.XDXDXDXDXD
tday went again.
played CS and DOTA
haha
and Nono and Kw came oso..haha so fun so fun.

nono u pro liao.can kill me with AWP
kw ah..lol.i tink u too long nvr play le.but still fun.

tday me and jj pwn jordan bj and kw like xiao..!!
dam cool..woohoo. I use medusa den pwning them like wtffff man!
then jj use his gay lion. wa then there was this once on bj. jj stun him..
i slow him down
then we melee him until he die
hahaha
BUT sad sia..in the end they took down our towers and win la...zzz
but our score still pwn them.hehe
tday oso play bball and badminton..wa i too long nvr play with the old uncle badminton le.
sad...ahhhh
nvm..this cmg sat we going again.
ME BJ AND JJ and FRED we gna settle our scores with SOME! heheehe that guy jialat..
ok cya pplXD

signing off

symphony no. 15

2008-10-22T21:07:00.000+08:00

haiz..why?
I just started anew and now wht...
im not sure i can take this frm you..
well, I'll will do my best though..
you know wht i mean..
if you are the one..

signing off:
symphony no. 14

2008-10-19T22:13:00.000+08:00

siansssss
IM SICK!!
zzz....got a little feverish
and Kena alot of rashes
(*itchy)

dun tink i can go sch for the next few days
..though its a gd thing! hehe.

I wish I'd be there for you but....you wouldn't let me. why?
I'm going to show you my true feelings for you...just a matter of time..real soon

signingoff:

symphony no. 13

2008-10-17T23:06:00.000+08:00

English: 52(C5)
Chinese:60(B4)
Maths: 65(B3)
Comb Sci: 60(B4)
Pure Lit: 52(C5)
POA: 47(D7)
Comb Humans: 41(E8)

zzz..my results are like shit hell man..ahhaaa sianss..
gotta work harder man nxt time:) this one only FYE havent calcualate overall hehe.
Btw, let me tell all the teachers out there that, sec 3/7 aint a bloody STUPID CLASS!!
you just dun understand us at all..no results doesn't mean no effort. GET IT CLEAR FREAKING HELL...sian..

Unveiling the truth within, I found you.

Signing off:

Symphony no. 12

2008-10-14T17:52:00.000+08:00

YEaa Exams over liao..
HAd fun for the past few days..

SO SHIOKK SHIOKK SHIOKK..!!!!!

Chiong 3 days of Lan, KFC and Basketball with Wes, Bj and JJ.
HAHA
1st-timer in dota and i mangaed to kill a pro once..
but i suck ahh.. Im losing my CS skills NOOOO!!! gettin' pwn..shit la!!

lol, must train up..if not Bj and JJ bcome more pro i jialat liao..haha
Shit, dam tired after all these and tml getting resuts back..dam..

jialat liao): ....

Signing off:

Symphony no. 11

Exams Sux..

2008-10-03T17:31:00.000+08:00

Hais..
exams are so boring..
got alot of catching up to do lol.
and i haven't started my history yet..

have been mugging for long hours the past few days..
tink sat i must take a smal break..haa haa

What sup with those people nowadays...zzz so many problems..so many complications..

Signing off:

Symphony no. 10

2008-09-28T22:01:00.000+08:00

YOu gotta watch the F1 Grand Prix..
it would be a waste if u nvr watch it..so NICE!!

theres F alonso, L Hamilton, bla...alot of pro ppl .

then at the start if the race, Massa frm Ferrari leading.
den he dumb
he filling oil at one of the pit stops,
the guard wave the flag to go too early,
then he chiong with the oil pump still on the car!!!,,,
wth,,
then his 1st position drop to last,

The best still is Alonso la,
he frm like at the back..
then zooooooom all the way to the front!!
wow._.
dam nice.
He did well for Renault even though renault still lagging behind bigshots like Ferrari?
soon la..
he will trash them..

L Hamilton did quite well, but didnt win..aww so sad!!
then that Massa guy frm Ferrari looked v pissed at the end...HAHAHa!

ahhhh, aftr all the racing,
tml got chinese paper siol!!.
VRRRRROOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!!!...bye.

signing off:

symphony no.9

2008-09-21T20:25:00.000+08:00

Darn it..
4 more days to the exams aldy.
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

ss is such a pain..
all because of SS..
i have not started much on the other subjects!!!
AHHHHH!!

sux siol...
sommore got running nose now...wtf.

let me tell you that i have stopped what i have been always doing to do what i'm suppose to do.
I wasnt sure of my intentions before but im clear now..
I finally broken out of this ring, this encirclement...once and for all.
never to go back again.

Signing off:
Symphony no.8

Exams Exams Exams

2008-09-11T21:39:00.000+08:00

dammit.
here comes the exams

sch reopen only like few days ago..
then nxt day as i stepped into the classroom.
Every tcher that saw us that told us.

: Class, ur exams are in 2.5 weeks time. BUCK UP!!

wth..and guess what. They throw us a relatively large number of tests...

zzz!! common test and class test at this point of time no point aldy what!!
since its aldy end of the yr, the tcher must as well do revision with us...

then we dun have to mug so much at home..unlike some who study everyday!heee:D
i had 1 emaths test and 1 chem test to tday...
tml there is POA test which i havent studied for...HELL!
then there was this HI-STORY test

..supposedly on wed but..
guess what..
when i studied super hard for it..
and Mrs Verma postphone it..SIAN!
Y must she do it at this time when i actually studied...zzz

Haiz.no choice ah..
I really HOPE that this day may come...THE END OF ALL EXAMS...not judgement day la duh!.

Haiz..wussup with me nowadays!!sian la...:x

2008-09-02T21:41:00.000+08:00

Aiyaaa...shiiit.
ytd frgt to post haha

ya..ytd
jieyi
xinrui
clayton
jameus
jerald
tristan
zul
and...aunty chun
hahahah
they came my house say wna 'STUDY'!!!
oh well
they did la...
but i just play piano entertain them lo
then everyone started to sing tgt
haha
so fun!!...

Then my dad was like..

DAD: ah le, wassup? (i called home)

Me: err pa, can my fren come to our hse or not??

Dad: EH NOO!!.i working ah, dun come and disturb me...
ur cannot play comp oso. i using com "gan gong" (means chiong work in chinese)

Me: huuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...walau eh!! my fren come study ah!

Dad: STUDY AH??! CAN CAN OF COS CAN!!!.....(zzz)

Me: Er but 8 ppl ah..can can??

DAD:!@#$$%^&&???!!

my dad is super lame...

then in my hse they talk talk alot of crap
...

one was I recited ghost stories to them..
jieyi didnt get a shit i was saying so she ask zul to read..
but what the heck?!
zul ask me one qs
: eh CHINGLe...which one got sex scene ah?? I WNA READ!!
lol..
so lame zul
ya but read until we scare them..esp jieyi and xinrui..
hhahaahahah
so fun!!
then the best part was.me and clayton told them SOME stories of our band room an sch.
one was abt how me n jj last time sec 1 that time night walk during band camp..so fun!!..
that time the scariest was ke kang, jun wen n wei jie. the sec4s then.
hahah i will pester mrs ho let us have overnight band camp so we can have our NIGHT WALK hahah..
then back to our ghost stories.
Clayton the best
he got lots of personal experience.haha
so sad life rite??
but come to think of it, quite cool la
haa:D

there was one clayton say he see figures or shadows lurking at our band room b4..dno la
then i anyhow wack..say what at night.

...there is another band playing in our band room..
though only a rumour.
it really freaked some ppl out..
no names ah..
but aunty chun hear me talk like dat..
he take my books throw at me...wth..

ya we talked abt all these lame-brain stories for like 2 hrs??haha pro huh!
then the fun come
jieyi n xinrui like when they take my flat the lift to downstairs, they start to freak out haah..
then when i reach downstairs.
i purposely walk infront of them then hide at a corner..
when they turn around that corner...hheeeeeheeeeheee..
ahh..u shld know what happen...BOOOO!!!

So fun. hope u guys drop by again!!

Signing off:

Symphony no. 7

TERM 3 PROGRESS REPORT

2008-08-29T19:09:00.000+08:00

English - 51 - C6
Chinese - 64 - B4
E maths - 61 - B4
Comb. Sci - 81 - A1
Pure Lit. - 56 - C5
POA - 47 - D7
Comb. Humans - 61 - B4

Average: 60.0%
MSG: 4.4
L1B5: 24
Class position: 12/41
Pass 6 Fail 1

..yea quite happy with my results lol!!.
MUST DO BETTER IN FINAL TERM!!hahaha..i hope i will la..Xp

Signing off:

Symphony no. 6

2008-08-29T18:48:00.000+08:00

YOoo..tdays tchers day!!
HAPPY TEACHERS DAY!!

Yea, and guess what i HAVE BAND tday...zzz
though rather sian
still gotta go..well what to do???
but some ppl just cant stand it.

At 1st when i knew that ppl wanted to skip band prac tday.
i tink its fine, well, they have their plans.
but the results of tdays band prac was so bad!!!!

Zat wanted to change syf piece, el camino real to something else.
and he asked us whether he shld..
for my own opinion i want..
cos
its like,...so WTF!!
my section just stone there wait wait wait wait wait..
wait until the sky drop still wait>.< its V irritating
i dun understand y my batch of ppl just cant prac like the sec2s.
I dun mean that the sec2s are good but, i admire most of them of their positive attitude for band.
ITS like u r a BAND member..what other things u cld do other than to prac?
practise doesnt make one perfect..i doesnt work for every individual.
For me, I just practice normally.
i get familiar with my parts.
slowly, one wld have a natural sense to play their parts well. this dun require much of practising to perfection. WHICH i tink most of my batch ppl or the band members wld not have the time and patience to do it..

JUST by looking at every practise, i wld feel the freaking boredom.
Yes its true i got bored playing this few pieces but its not bcos i hate the pieces..
its just that i cant stand the time wasted during full band pracs!!!!on all those parts that dun have to be covered.

If one know how to pract wisely. and to have the eagerness to do it, which i believe most of u can.
THere wont be all these hassle!!.Zat wldnt be angry at OUR music, he wont scold or nag, then ur wld most probably be enjoying ur band prac aldy?? isnt that a good way?

HAizzzz....maybe after reading my post u wldnt get it.
I just wna let the world know it..I wan u guys to understand.
I wna bring it up..THIS JUST GOTTA STOP !!

..if not there wldnt be any success..BAND i really need ur to understand.!!

Signing off:
Symphony no. 5

2008-08-23T19:46:00.000+08:00

Today yet again..

I have another normal routine of LAN, Basketball and this time me Bry, jordan n jj went to zaman hse lol..
LAN tday shiok bodoh!!
we played CS 1.6 la
Bry said i headshot with m16 like free sia!!..cool huh!:)
then then bry oso v good in AWP(sniper rifle)
we were totally owning the other team haahahahaahah..

FLS(fu lu shou, our current clan name) team: Bry(sniper), Me(m16), jordan(knife)
THe other team: Wilfred, Mervyn, Ian

then later we sian we switch to LOTR:battle for middle earth.
It was so dam freaking stupid!!!
cos rite..i started the server
Ian jordan n bry joined la
then play half way suddenly everyone die except for bryan..
then he yay i nvr build anything or fight i still own u!!
then best sia.
he type it into the convo box for that game
like sorta spam!!..hahahhaha

ya then we go eat at macs..
I still dunno y jordan wna me n bry go eat the so called $1.80 chicken rice??!
he claimed that the chicken is as big as the mac spicy.....wthhh...

we then go tm slack slack.
Noelyn said she was going to drop by tm go 77th street.(gangster sia.hehe)
then suay lol. cos at the moment jj came n we gotta leave for zaman hse
then jordan said he wanted to play bball then we play lo..in the rain!!
wahahaha so fun..but retired after awhile..
then noelyn say she oso went to tamp east cc(where we were playing) for tuition.
but again i din see her lols..then ltr she told me that she rushing for tuition la...haha
its ok!

then later i went to Zaman hse
although he bry jj zainal n one more guy they doing SS proj..me n jorda go there "help" hhaah!!
then we helped them in the role play lol..
so FUNNY..
they were like doing alot of spastic stuffs....hahhah
ya then suddenly i realise it was late n then i zhao lo

haha thats saturday for me haha
oh well!....(zul)

Signing off

Symphony no. 4

WORST DAYS..

2008-08-16T18:31:00.000+08:00

[Why do such things happen to me on and on? Its not the 1st time aldy...]

I jusyt hate all this things that happen..
could anyone tell me why???

what have i done wrg???
I just dunno y the fcking hell !!!!!
ARRGH!!!

signing off:

Requiem no.1

2008-08-14T17:08:00.000+08:00

Omg...
I HATE THIS WEEKK

have so many test this weekkk...zzzzzz:(
tue-Ss
wed-elect hist(omg VERMA!!!!)
thurs-chinese

nxt week
e maths
chem..

so lame...y the sch must put all the test on the last few weeks
sommore aftr a 4-day holiday...wa piang eh!!
but ok la...
i got 25/30 for physics
n 0/9 for emaths class test!!!
muhahaha!!!

signing off

symphony no.3

2008-08-10T16:02:00.000+08:00

Today..one day aftr National day.
went to nikki's hse to practice for his upcoming MEP prelims..
Honestly, we suk!!
..sommore the prelims is on this wednesday...GEeezz....-.-

sian again..
oh crap..gotta study for HIST n SS test this week!!..
holy shit..
REally sux to the core la...
I'd wish i could drop my humanities..anyway i wld still get an E8 or F9...
zzz...no diff la..
haiz..gtg now.

bye:/

signing off:

Symphony no.2

090808

2008-08-09T23:04:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

to singapore.:)
This yr's national day parade..
sian,
a little boring...
I also don't really like the song "Shine for Singapore".
It sounds rather awkward la..

Today went out,with friends, had fun LAN-ing, n Bball-ing..
Guess what...I watched 4 movies this week LOL!
-The Dark Knight(cool movie, u expect fighting, they give u phsycological lessons)
-Money not enough 2(again unexpected, suppose to be a comedy but for those who have watched, ya' know what i mean)
-Journey to the Centre of the Earth(okok la...just a mere repeat of the Classic novel)
-Mummy 3(also not bad, not vry long n tedious. enough fighting scenes, cool..)

rite..cya:)

signing off:

symphony no.1

RE: blogging

2008-08-09T19:26:00.000+08:00

I'm back to blogging again...lol.

I really dun like livejournal..^^