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Here it goes again, failing my papers again. Bah..it's not even the 'O's.. whats the problem?? Yea, life is so good to be free. Not the best but I like it though, no much things to worry about at the moment. Flashbacks in the past, right now, I would be settling some friendship/social problem. Well, can't specify which is it can I? Ya, now step down from band, no worries of self-practice no worries for the section. (Currently yes I still am-.-) no worries of admin work. ( I screwed a lot in the past) no worries about SYF (It's over) no worries about opening and closing the band room (though i still go down as often as i used to) Sadly, everything seems to be drifting away. ..thinking about it, i kinda' like my so sophisticated life.. It's so full of color, red orange yellow green blue indigo violet? black and white? Dark and Bright? It's all over, as I told myself. I'm moving on. to this dull and monotonous life... It's like from City to Countryside. Everything is so peaceful here. Although I have studies to look out for, I still felt, burden-less? Perhaps it's a time for me to rest and relieve myself?? No I guess, this sophisticated life i had, The one i suffered the most, and learned the most from, happens for a reason. And I suppose that now, there are no problems such as those in ages past, Problems like those are like dramas on TV You start watching episode one, you "love" it, the characters, the play, the makeup, the designs, the aesthetics, all. However, in this sequel certain episodes make you happy whereas some harbors evil the characters, it bugs you You want to bring this "evil character" to it's demise. but its drama you can only watch. Wanting the drama to end you proceeded episodes after episodes you became addicted and the pain is not going to go away. You see, simply, ending this is not by watching it go on and on. It will never end. It's addiction, like dramas. You stop watching. Just stop. The pain will be numbed The addiction will cease. is just simply, let it go? It's maiden prologue Agonized with anticipation The finale and epilogue Carries the fear of cessation it's the play's end after all why is there no curtain call?
I'll play for you.
Re-Living the Cold War. Problems are solved..only on the surface. It seems everyone has a sense of rivalry amongst each individual. I had pulled out of it, I knew things were 'solved' Just that when I popped my head back in to take another look, everything just went haywire. This, I really gotta pullout, I don't wanna be involved with such things. I'm tired. all this complications. But I'm sure, it will all end well once again, like how the Cold War ended Ending Communism and USSR. (geez) So guys. Stop it. Let it go. Datta . Dayavham . Damyata Give . Sympathize . Control . Give in to the ones you cared. Sympathize the pitiful. Control your life, Life is yours. You need not control others life, if you can't do likewise yourself. ~ Off- Centre
I'll play for you.
I guess all things do end well. though how much it twisted and turned in the process though it went off-track though its stuck at a dead end. though I almost lost you, your trust, your everything though its hurting to know the ugly truth. its just the ugly truth that tore everything to pieces Somehow it is the ugly truth that is beautiful(: in the end, Really, thanks. Thanks for understanding my plea. I'm just glad you are well now(:
I'll play for you.
At last, the sky is clearing. I think everyone is also at fault in one way or another rite? Well, i hope it won't happen again. I was really harsh cos i had enough of being nice. But now, I guess i still have to, I know I'm not like this. In the process, some fell to help others. Some are just trying to ignore and pretend Someone told me once, that even though you say you don't care, actually, you still care. Yea and sometimes, really. In this situations Even explanations don't work. No matter how hard. But I know everyone needs time to think through all. I understand and i gladly let you. Well, maybe you all would know what i mean, maybe no. I'm sure the person does(: So Sorry for Probing SO much. Sorry for being irritating Sorry for being bad but, I just can't help to care and be a nice person, really. I just want to simply, you know, help you the best I can. I got agitated cos you wouldn't tell me anything. I want to care but you don't give me chance to. I am clueless, angry, worried and maybe a little sad. I really want you to be fine, I care cos that's what friends are for, rite? Close friends to the extent like as if the very same blood flows through us, like those of siblings. Being like this, we sure have our ups and downs. Perhaps this is when we are down isn't it? Of all, Hope you would understand. You know how sad i felt when u ask me to leave you alone? Despite giving you the time, maybe you hadn't the time to give a reply. I know you are confused so I decided to stop it. I left you alone as you wanted me to. Unfortunately, I'm just too worried that I can't help it but to.. You will know very soon You can blame me all you want but just.. At the very least,assure me? or Tell me whats wrong?? I just need to talk to you. So we can solve our problems and stop being like this I'm willing to help. Are you? Confessions don't work for me. You know it. I've said it before You may have missed it but, just to let you know. Simply, Please don't misunderstand me): Cos' I just wanna Stick to the Status Quo Of it all, please accept my sincere apologies. Thanks..
I'll play for you.
After much thought, I realise. That I shouldn't bother so much already. It's not going to change la. My fate.. I leave it to decide my destiny. And YES. I'm not gonna bother about you, you, you or you anymore. anyone lar. All the gina gina problematic people. I bother. You all just don't appreciate. And then when i don't bother then you guys like attitude-.- Aiyah, well, i did my part. I just can't be bothered by you all already. I'm going to move on again. Very fast uh? Haha and pls.. this is what I have made my judgement over you people and is definately not emo-ing. I have a backbone I am independent Partly, I am Stuck in Between. I don't know what you all thinking lar. Fuck sake. Then like..aiyaa I try to help, then all like segregate segregate. turn you backs away. Geez. Tell you all what lar I'm just gonna leave Leave you all. I cannot stand you people somehow. The communication isn't there already. some of you i know perhaps ignoring me, attitude me or whatever. I don't know why u are doing this but is it me or is it u and fucking problems? People, I'm just way too nice. in a way. I have to please everyone. but, so many How? tell me how lar jibai? cannot rite fuck? I no longer believe in like you guys are my BFFs.. yaa rite man.. SO MUCH FOR THAT sia. U dont know the meaning then what the fuck u say for? then ure all act as if like frens and go on. Why don't ure just sit down and solve the bloody prob?? srsly la, some of u are realy fine, thnx the rest leh JUST FUCKYOU MAN FUCK YOUR LIFE FUCK YOUR EVERYTHING!!!! FUCK YOUUUUU COS YOU ALL as in ALL ARE A DISAPPOINTMENT I THINK IM GONNA BE PROUD AND NOT MODEST IM GONNA BE EVIL BE BAD, NOT BE NICE IM GONNA bE IGNORANT AND NOT CARING IM GONNA BE TOTALLY AGAINST YOU ALL FUCKERS I DON'T NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU ALL. ONLY KNOW ATTENTION-SEEKING CROWD ATTRACTER JUST FUCK YOU SELL YOURSElF SELL!! JUST KNOW HOW TO PANGSEH. JUST KNOW HOW TO EMO JUST KNOW HOW TO IGNORE PEOPLE I'VE THROWN MY STUDIES TECHNICALLY MY SEC4 LIFE FOR A BUNCH OF PEOPLE I REALLY FELT THEIR BETTER THAN ANYONE I COULD POSSIBLY SEE THAT I'VE LOVED AND TRUSTED BUT YOU ALL JUST DON'T SEEM TO CARE, ALREADY. you may not be involved but THE REST ARE! EH UNFAIR LA. SHOW SOME APPRECIATION CAN OR NOT?! I KNOW I OLDER I STILL GIVE IN TO YOU ALL WHAT I TRY TO BE NICE AND YOU JUST GIVE ME SHIT YOU NOT ONLY DO IT TO ME BUT THE OTHER PEERS OF YOURS. I KNOW THEY ARE NOT HAPPY WITH YOU STINKY ATTITUDE I REALLY DNO HOW TO EXPLAIN THIIIISSSS BUT IM GONNA LEAVE LA. IM LEAVING YOU FUCKERS COS ITS STUPID AND MEANINGLESS ALREADY DON'T YOU THINK? I NEED A FUCKING BREAK FROM YOU ALL SIA SERIOUSLY. just fuck you all la. this is anger, not me being emo-.- i say fuck not cse its cool but to convey on my point strongly. i hope u wld understand you all. disappointed with you all. you all made me feel down. really. don't bother about me too. i dont deserve cse i think i shldnt be with you people at all. i need to rest.. end of my long post... im just...too tired
I'll play for you.
Please stop playing lame games.. It's irritating. People have their privacy so do you. Well, I'm just saying... Perhaps being too cautious and paranoid wouldn't do me any good after all huh? Well, I cannot hope. I cannot pray. I have to succumb to Fate. No matter how i try to change it. Fate is everything. I don't care if Jesus or Buddha exist but they are not doing any good for me. Perhaps my life is just have to live my life alone? Forever? Everyone around me always have their chance. Why not me? Hope is hope that ONNNE day a miracle would happen. I told myself no. Cannot hope. Cause I don't believe it would happen. It's just like this. I just gotta follow. I can't change. I can only hopelessly hope for a change. The hope that never came. I'm too hurt I never want to get hurt ALL over again. People say i deserve a chance, I stand a chance. But i believe no. It's just too impossible. Whenever it starts, I would know. and when it does, my love life is screwed all over again. Now more than twice bitten, i decided not to be a risk-taker. but to be someone who waits, waits and waits.. aimlessy searching for someone who is willing to accept. then again, It's not gonna happen.
I'll play for you.
Band No. 147 Temasek Wind Ensemble... SILVER. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!@!##$ kinda unexpected.. everyone is like from HIGH to LOW siaa aiya...me too. I feel like shit I know we don't deserve such results. BUt LIke I said, No matter WHAT WE GET, LETS ALL BE HAPPY RITE?? hehe of cos. ONe big family HAPPY LA SILVER IS OK. we maintained our standards. Just we need more years and time. Besides, our results are very subjective. Don't really show our true potential. yup. Though its all over for me now, I gotta go already. The Onus is on the sec3s now. hehe all the best for TWE. (:
I'll play for you.
One LAST Day before SYF. Hais, at last its here. After this I would be stepping down already!~ Though feeling kinda Nostalgic. I hope the band do well! No matter what. We are still one, all together! "Band No.147............ ......the Temasek Symphonic Band a.k.a Temasek Wind Ensemble..... ..................... award" this blank will be filled by the end of tomorrow. heh. All the best guys!
I'll play for you.
SYF this coming Wednesday. Hehe. NO SCHOOL! I don't know why but i don't feel much about it.. Perhaps its kinda' expected huh.. Anyways, nowadays school time is kinda slack.. Plenty of my teachers are going for courses, which i don't know when it's coming to an end? Worse still, some teachers are going on pregnancy leave. -.- simply fabulous sia. on this Olevel year. haha but i already don't want to push myself to study. So what's the point? I just do what I'm suppose to do. Nothing more. Nothing less. And I want to go for Alumni Chalet in June(: hope i can make it . Haha
I'll play for you.
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The Maestro
Qingle a.k.a PlainBlueSkyes
La Memoirs
→ August 2008 Au revoir
Xinrui Your Words
Enchantment
Designed By: velvet-sky
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